


Incy Wincy Spider

by azneraCarenza



Series: The tower gets Loki'd [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 5YearoldTasha, Auntie Pepper, Ballet, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Nesting, POV: Clint Barton, Some Swearing, Uncle Clint, deaging, kid!Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-29 20:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/691250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azneraCarenza/pseuds/azneraCarenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha is somehow de-aged into an unsurprisingly deadly 5 year old. How will Clint handle babysitting, and will Tony ever shut up? Follow the team's attempts at childcare as they try to work out what happened and reverse it before their pride is totally destroyed by a 5 year old ninja taking them down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The thing that went bump in the night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi people. This is my first attempt at a fic, so feedback would be nice. This is a side project to a book I'm writing, so sorry if my writing is kinda awful atm. I'll try and update as often as I can write it :) (This is quite a short chapter, I'll try to make the next longer)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Marvell.

Clint should have known something was wrong when he managed to enter the room he shared with Natasha without finding a gun pointed at his head. He definitely should have known something was wrong when he managed to undress, shower and climb into bed without her at least threatening to break something. Somehow, though, he managed to ignore the signs, giving into the relatively peaceful sleep a successful mission completed could bring. Shame it didn’t last.

I had only been asleep for what seemed like a few meagre minutes before I was woken by flailing limbs and rapid breathing.  
“Tash?”  
I took a few seconds to try to work out what was happening through a brain fogged up with sleep, but I suddenly snapped to attention as I realised that Tasha must be having a nightmare. I thought that we had finally sorted that, after months of waking in the middle of the night. Gently swearing under my breath, I resigned myself to the end of my night’s sleep and rolled over to face her before swearing again, a lot louder this time. Natasha wasn’t there. Instead I found a tiny girl, around 5 years old, with flaming hair and emerald eyes. It was her, but how? How on earth had this happened? I didn’t realise how long I had been gaping at her before she lashed out at my face and ran off, apparently to lock herself in the bathroom given the clicks that followed.  
“JARVIS… umm…”  
I found myself unable to find the words, but the AI, efficient as ever, calmly found the answer to my unspoken question.  
“Sir, if you were wondering, that was Agent Romanoff. Should I wake the other Avengers?”  
Somehow I nodded, and JARVIS presumably started on the task immediately. Under other circumstances, this might have been funny. Hell, it made me smile just for a second, the deadly black widow shrunk down into a teeny tiny assassin, but given her background she was probably already deadly by 5. Oh god, what did 5 year olds do? What was I even doing when I was 5? Well we would have to go shopping. I hate shopping. I mentally noted that I should make Pepper do it, smirking at the idea that she might drag Tony along as “practice”. Tony doing anything child related was unheard of, except for occasionally commenting on their failed attempts to build Iron Man suits out of milk cartons and that shit. I was brought out of my train of thought by a somewhat tentative knock at the door.  
“Umm, Clint? Natasha? JARVIS just sent me here, but he, or it, or whatever, didn’t explain. What’s going on?”  
Of course Steve would make it here first. He looked around pointedly, eyebrows raised as he noticed a certain lack of weaponry directed at his person. I just pointed over my shoulder at the door, what I’m pretty sure was a grim expression on my face. He walked over, and carefully knocked at the door before calling out for her. It was totally worth not warning him to see his expression as the decidedly high pitched voice called back.  
“My name is Natalya. Where am I? Is this a test?”  
That was even more worrying. I walked over to join Steve, and gently knocked again.  
“Natalya? This is not a test. Think of it as… a holiday or whatever. You get holidays right? Ok, so you probably don’t normally, but… yep, definitely a holiday. I’m Clint, and I’m going to be looking after you. This is Steve, and he is going to go right now to explain to the others that you have joined us.”  
That last was with a pointed glare at Steve, who immediately went off to divert the others off somewhere. I really didn’t need Tony here right now. What I needed was for Natasha, or Natalya, or whatever she wanted to call herself, to get out of the bathroom. I briefly considered all of the options from breaking the door down, to picking the lock, to shooting the lock, until I realised that any show of force would probably lead her to retaliate. I only had one option left.  
“Natalya? Can you open the door please? I just want to help you.”  
It was a long shot, but worth a try. Not that I expected it to work.  
“I don’t need help. I am strong.”  
I heard her muttering in Russian, and almost punched myself. Of course she expected to be in Russia. I repeated my request for her to open the door, in Russian this time, and slowly, the handle turned. Great. One problem down. Now I just needed a way to explain the appearance of the 5 year old Nat without Tony laughing. Bruce would at least be sympathetic, and Pepper would presumably adopt her right away. Steve already knew, and Thor was in Asgard for some long and tedious conference. As much as I hate any kind of official stuff, I envied Thor being far, far away from this mess. I forced myself to swallow my rapidly rising hysteria as a small, carefully blank face appeared. She stepped out into the room without caution, as if she owned the place. I guess she actually did own the place, even if her 5 year old self wasn’t aware of it yet. I always wondered why we stayed in her room. I had an entire floor above, but then I guess if I complained she would kick my ass. Right, focus Clint. I told her, again in Russian, that we were going to meet the others now. She nodded stiffly, and looked to me for instruction. God, mini-nat was like a robot. She had an excuse, given the brain washing and all that stuff, but it still creeped the hell out of me. I glanced down at her, marching stiffly beside me with head held high. The perfect soldier by nature and nurture. Well, a while around Tony and me, we should be able to sort that out. Actually, we didn’t even know how long she would be a small child. Should probably get Banner working on that. We reached the door to the communal living area, and bracing myself I pushed open the door.  
Reactions were pretty much as expected, apart from Steve looking knowingly at Tony, for reasons I would need to acquire later.  
“So, what’s with the itsy bitsy spider?”  
Trust Tony. Pepper on the other hand began to approach Nat before Steve could gently stop her.  
“Pepper, she’s still technically trained at this age. Maybe you should…”  
He didn’t get a chance to finish before she rushed forward anyway, pulling Nat into her arms. We all held our breath, Tony starting to move forward, but then the little girl settled her arms around Pepper with a contented sigh. She would only have been in the Red Room for a couple of years, and so probably still had a vague idea of human contact being acceptable. I couldn’t help but grin as I saw them hugging in a heap on the floor, Natasha almost smiling as Pepper held on. It really was adorable. She finally released Nat, and immediately noticed that she was only wearing a somewhat oversized black t-shirt of big Nat’s which she must have found in the bathroom. Pepper somehow managed to avoid gasping in horror, and immediately asked Natasha if it was alright for them to go shopping together. The little girl looked at me inquisitively, raising her eyebrow in such a normal way for her that I did a slight double take. It was such a Nat habit on such an unexpected face. I nodded, saying that I thought it was a great idea. I took the girl aside for a minute to explain that we were in America instead of Russia, mostly to avoid Pepper’s death, but partly to prevent her from having a heart attack when she got outside. Actually, I was surprised by her lack of interest in where she was. I guess she still thought of it as a mission or something. As long as she wasn’t going to complain, then I was fine.  
“Ok Nat, some basic ground rules. This is counting as a holiday, so you can do whatever you want to. You do however need to avoid attacking anyone unless they give you permission. I need you to be good for Pepper, ‘kay?”  
I ruffled her hair and began to step away before she nudged my leg, looking up at me expectantly. She started speaking in rapid Russian, and I could sense the other’s eyebrows raising as she spoke.  
“Ok Nat. You go with Pep to find something to wear for now, and I’ll meet you guys in the garage.”  
She nodded, and Pepper led her out, presumably to one of the many closets on the floor. I went over to the others, who still seemed in varying states of shock.  
“So what did the very angry spider tell you?”  
“First Tony, quit with the bad spider nursery rhymes stuff. She could so still take you. Second, she wanted to know if I was going with her and the nice lady to go shopping. Apparently she sees me as an ‘instructor’ as she puts it, in the way of holidays. That, my friends, is a task I think I can take to.”  
“Fine. Just keep a hawkeye on her.”  
With that, Tony winked and sauntered towards the lab. Bruce sighed and began to follow, but I grabbed his arm to stop him moving.  
“Hey, could you do some research into this? I don’t know if anything like this has ever happened, but if it has, I’d like to know when I can expect big Tash back. Thanks man.”  
He nodded, and followed Tony. Well, that went better than I was expecting. Bruce had agreed to help, and Tony was only averagely unbearable. Smiling at my new designation, I headed down towards the garage to begin my role as Holiday Instructor. I would certainly be making it memorable, let her have a taste of fun as a child to break through the horror of the Red Room. I exited the elevator to find the girls waiting by what Pepper judged to be a suitable car. That would be the only one of Tony’s supercars with more than 2 seats then. As we climbed in, I noted that Pepper had found a dress small enough for Tash from god knows where. It didn’t take my eyesight to know that Nat hated it. I took a picture to document the occasion, and climbed in as Pepper strapped Nat in. Let the fun begin…


	2. Tiny vs. Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tiny assassin takes down some avengers, Clint dislikes fish, and Thor seems petty pessimistic for once.

We spent a seemingly ridiculous amount of time wandering around the most expensive childwear store Pepper could find on short notice. Clothes shopping bores me almost to tears, but I did laugh over the set of avenger’s T-shirts I found. I snuck one of the Hawkeye ones in when Pep wasn’t looking. I may also have snuck in Captain America, Hulk and Thor. I figured Tony’s ego didn’t need the inflation a tiny Natasha wearing his face would bring. Pepper seemed content to watch Nat while she was in the changing room, so I went off on my own for a while, calling for Pepper to call me when she was done. I had a friend to see.   
I walked instead of taking the car, figuring that since I was only going a couple of blocks I would leave the girls the vehicle in case of emergency. Not that an emergency could possibly arise while attempting to find clothes for girls in any colour but pink, but given the luck we members of the Avengers usually had it was best to be prepared. Last time we all went out for a team building trip there was an unfortunate incident that may have slightly been my fault. In my defence, how was I supposed to know that they didn’t make the aquarium tanks arrow proof? And if they will have those fish with the suspiciously target-like markings, what’s a trained archer to do with the weapons they stupidly didn’t find? Ok, I almost felt bad for the fish, but the manager had the trouble coming. That aquarium was shit. Even Thor was bored, which is practically unheard of on these occasions. I haven’t really liked fish since that mission a few years back when Nat hit me in the face with a salmon, but enough of the fish thing. I’d made it to a shop which looked a little shady, but when I got inside I found a haven of deadly projectiles. Bullets, arrows, and everything you would need to fire them. As Tony would say, Candyland. I was reaching out to touch the curve of a beautiful black bow when the guy behind the counter finally looked up.  
“Clint. Haven’t seen you around here for a while. Looking for something new?”  
“No thanks. I’m pretty well off for weapons right now, but I still have my first bow, even if it is just circus standard and all. Today I’m looking for something… smaller.”  
About half an hour, and a lot of comments on a certain archer’s ungrateful mindset, I left the shop with a miniature version of a bow and matching arrows, and a small handheld pistol. Nat had once told me that practically the only thing she even vaguely enjoyed during her childhood was weapons training. She hasn’t met our range yet, or at least at this age, and that is something I’m hoping to correct. I made it back to the car just as Pepper and Tiny Tash left the store, laden with bags. I helped them to load the bags into the back of the car, and then suggested that we find some lunch. My gifts for her were already secreted underneath my seat.   
We ate lunch in a fast food chain because I figured that’s the kind of thing Nat would have missed out on, and Pepper agreed even to the point of getting a tiny bit of ketchup on her cream shoes. She promptly turned the colour of Nat’s hair as I tried not to laugh for fear of my life, or the dry cleaning bill. It would be on Tony’s tab anyway, but it still felt wrong to spend so much money on shoes. I glanced at the shoes Tasha was wearing, and was relieved to find them flat. Nothing uncomfortable has a place in holiday time. We soon finished, and as we were about to leave Nat wandered off in search of the bathroom.   
“Is it normal for a 5 year old to be that quiet, or even listen to orders? She did whatever I said without question, or even a complaint. It just doesn’t seem… natural.”  
I raised an eyebrow as it sank in how little Pepper understood Nat’s childhood. I shrugged as I tried to explain.  
“Well when the Red Room had her, she was beaten for speaking out of turn, or disobeying orders. It would sink in eventually.”  
Natasha reappeared just as Pepper regained the ability to speak. She managed to stay calm, but it was clear how much that little anecdote had affected her when she risked taking Nat’s hand in her own. The small girl visibly flinched at that, but I nodded in what I hoped was a reassuring matter. It must have worked as she didn’t let go.  
As soon as we reached the tower Pepper herded the child away to change while I went up to the communal area. Unsurprisingly, the others were all there in the aftermath of lunchtime. Without Pepper to restrain them, the mess was even worse than usual. I didn’t know whether to be offended at having missed the fun, or grateful that Pep wasn’t going to hunt me down and force me to scrub the carpet. Again. I went straight over to Tony, pointing out that he might want to acquaint Pepper with Natasha’s file. He blanched slightly as if trying to calculate the amount I had already told her, but Bruce and Steve backed me up. She should at least be fully aware of what she’s dealing with.   
“Ah, Thumbelina has returned! What, no pretty dresses? Hair ribbons? Ponies? Pepper, where’s the little girl stuff?”  
I stared Tony down until Bruce pointed out that at least it wasn’t spider related. I was about to lecture him anyway, when Natasha stepped up to him and boldly spoke in Russian at him.  
“Я хочу драться с тобой, придурок металла”  
The others just looked puzzled as I fought back hysterical laughter.   
“What? What did the midget say?”  
“I believe, roughly translated, she said ‘I wish to fight you, metal moron’!”  
At that point everyone cracked up. I saw a flash, and hoped to god that someone must have captured the look on Tony’s face. I looked at Natasha, and her slightly smug face said that she wasn’t joking.   
“Alright, fine. I’ll show that little princess who’s in charge.”

Ten minutes later, Tony was in the infirmary, and the internet was full of pictures of Tony Stark in a heap on the floor, a 5 year old standing triumphantly upon his back. That one was going all over Tony’s room. In fact, it was Tash who came up with the idea of climbing through the air vents with about a thousand copies and a pot of wallpaper paste. We had a few hours of time while he was getting his stiches, and by the time we disappeared into the air vents the room was well and truly covered. I made a not for Jarvis to put all of the footage of tony from today onto a dvd for me. I could watch that fight for hours, and there was no way I was going to miss his reaction to his new decoration. We were crawling through the maze of ventilation shafts when We stumbled over one of my ‘nests’. Natasha immediately wanted to know what it was, and I did my best to explain.   
“My codename is Hawkeye, mostly because of my eyesight, but partly because I love heights, and I have a habit of making nests everywhere. I just like to have somewhere to be alone, for when I need to get away from people. No one else can get in here, so it’s a good place.”  
I saw the look in Nat’s eyes as I mentioned an escape from everything, and I knew that she wanted a place like that, to escape from the vicious cycle of the Red Room training. Suddenly I hatched I plan for that evening.  
We waited until everyone was safely in bed, or at least Tony was safely in his lab, before we snuck up the living room with all of the pillows and blankets we could find. We carefully assembled a fort made from Blankets draped over the furniture, and once inside we made a nest out of pillows. I sorted out the structure of the nest to avoid collapse while Nat carefully booby trapped the door using only string, a tea towel and 3 spoons of various sizes. I didn’t even want to know what it would do. It took a long time for her to be satisfied, but eventually she came over to join me in the nest, nodding with satisfaction. She sat across from me, eyes reading my face as she tried to gauge the safety of allowing me into her hideout. She seemed to accept it, as with a little sigh she settled down at my side. I decided this was the perfect time to give her the gifts I had managed to procure, smiling as I saw her eyes widen.  
“I know you enjoy training, so I had these made for you. I thought we could go down to the target range tomorrow, mess around a bit. And Pepper offered to find you ballet classes, if you like?”  
She looked up at me with a slightly worried expression on her face, as if it was some sort of a test designed to make her seem weak. It made me really fucking angry to think of the life this tiny girl had been forced to live. Even if she was only here for a short time, and even if she didn’t remember any of it, I would spend as much time as we had trying to make her feel happy for once.   
“Nat, there’s a time to train, and there’s a time for you. This is the second option, so you may as well give in and enjoy it. So, shooting and Ballet tomorrow?”  
She put her arms around me and nearly cracked a rib with the strength of her hug. She clung to me until she started yawning, and we settled down in our nest to sleep.  
We were woken up by a camera flash. Looking up, I saw Bruce knelt at the entrance to our fort, camera in hand.   
“Sorry, JARVIS said you were in here, and you looked so adorable together. Anyway, I need to talk to you.”  
With that, he looked at Natasha pointedly, who I sent off to find something appropriate for training to wear. As soon as she left, Bruce’s face fell. Well that couldn’t be good.   
“Clint, I’ve done every test I can think of, and nothing I can find will either explain or reverse the process. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. Tony’s been over the footage, and she literally just shrank. No reason visible. Sorry.”  
He looked at me as he expected me to hit him or something, but I understood. His point, not the shrinking. That was just weird.  
“It’s good man. You did what you could. I’ll just have to keep her occupied, and see what happens I guess. Oh, and can I have a copy of that photo?”  
He nodded and left me, looking a little relieved. I told JARVIS to send someone to take the nest fort to laundry, and went to find Tasha for the promised training session.   
After seeing what she did to Tony, I wasn’t inclined to train with the little ninja, so I was relieved to find Steve on the punching bags. He didn’t seem too keen either, but Tash put on puppy eyes (which I didn’t even think she was capable of) and he was putty. He lasted longer than Tony, but the end was inevitable.  
“JARVIS?”  
“I have photographed the occasion as requested Mr Barton. The photos are downloading to your laptop now.”  
Steve’s face was priceless. That was two avengers she had taken down now. Serves Steve right for going easy on her just because she was 5. Tony never stood a chance realistically.   
Sparring over, we went over to the shooting range. I started by requesting Nat show me what she could do with a gun, and she obliged. Her skill with the weapon was scarily accurate even at this age. I couldn’t help but think of some of her more ridiculous future shots. Mostly they were directed to save my life when I did something stupid (albeit completely the best plan I had. Anyway, the target was taken down, which was the aim. Success.)  
We spent a few hours with me trying to teach her how to shoot the bow. She took to it immediately, but she was only as competent as she had been in her adult years, and I could tell that it was starting to bother her that she wasn’t getting the target every time. I thought it best that we stopped before she actually destroyed something in annoyance. Pepper hadn’t managed to find ballet classes until tomorrow, so instead I took her to the living room to play violent video games on Tony’s TV. She could destroy that if she wanted to. TVs are replaceable. I am not, and from the looks she’s giving me when I hit the bulls eye every time were beginning to make me feel like I might be destroyed.  
We had been playing assasin’s creed for a while when we heard the thunder. Everyone else appeared out of nowhere, and while Pepper looked at the rating of the game in horror, The Avengers assembled at the elevator door to welcome Thor back. For such an optimistic guy, or god, or whatever, the look on his face wasn’t promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a ficlet coming to explain the salmon thing. It has to be done.


	3. Something nasty in the fridge...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Thor be able to provide a solution to the problem? What will Clint's choice be? Who left that in the fridge? The last chapter awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read my first fic, and to my lovely beta, who I quote is "beta at grammar."  
> I plan to write more, including the salmon story.

“So what’s up Buttercup?”  
Thor looked mildly puzzled, but he got on with his explanation.  
“Loki has disappeared. Hear me out friends, it was not of his will that he attacked this world. He was being controlled, but before we could establish who was behind this crime, he simply vanished. We have been somewhat lax in our security since he was not to be blamed, but he should still have been unable to use his magic in such a way. Have you heard of any strange events in the area?”  
In answer, I led Natasha forward. Thor’s face was bemused more than anything as he regarded her.  
“Lady Natasha? How did you come to be in this state?”  
“I’m Natalya. And I came here for a holiday with Clint and Pepper. I like them. I don’t like the металл дебил. I defeated him and the captain.”  
It still made me laugh when she called Tony the metal moron, and from Thor’s gleeful laughter I assumed the all-speak was kicking in. I was almost disappointed that she was still insisting she was called Natalya, but by now she was only mumbling it. Still, Thor’s story about Loki unnerved me. Apparently Bruce felt the same, as he was the next to speak.  
“So someone tamed the bag of cats to do their bidding? Because Loki seemed pretty determined to do his own thing, what with the evil plans to rule the mewling quims and all.”  
I almost felt sorry for the guy, or god, before realising that was what he had done to me. Still, I felt I should get across my point.  
“This mind control thing, if it was anything like mine, doesn’t actually require orders. You instinctively know what they want you to do, and you want to do it. It’s a weird thing, feeling like you need to please whoever the fuck is in charge at that point. So if Loki really was being controlled, then he would just do whatever without needing to be ordered. To summarise, it really sucks when you snap out.”  
Thor looked thoughtful at that, as if linking something I had said to the situation. If Loki had done this to Tash, I would hunt him down, and let her kick his ass for me.   
“May I see the Lady Natasha again?”  
She stepped forward, confident as ever. Thor knelt down in front of her and gently cupped her face in his hands.   
“It is as I thought. I can sense Loki’s magic here, a spell similar to one he used to use when we were children. He must be somewhere in Midguard.”  
“Are you gonna let daddy know? Because no offence, but he’s already caused way too much chaos with the tiny terror here. I still have bruises.”  
“Heimdall is all-seeing, as is the All-father. They will be aware, and I will do everything in my power to find Loki and restore the Lady Natasha to herself.”  
I was so relieved that we knew what had happened that I almost didn’t notice Nat leaving the room. My smile faded as I wondered what could be wrong. She had never just gone before, not without the permission of the ‘Holiday Instructor’. I got into the elevator before asking JARVIS where she went.  
“I believe she is inside the ventilation system Mr Barton, but I am afraid I am unsure where. My system is calibrated to detect Miss Romanov’s signature, but in her current state she is evading my sensors. She could be anywhere in the system.”  
Great. Needle in a haystack. I thought back over my missions with Nat, thinking of where she might go. Usually she would either go to somewhere she knew well, and if she was in a new location, she would find me. Actually, I had an idea.   
I traced back our path from Tony’s room until I found the long abandoned nest. It was abandoned no more. I found the girl sitting there, looking thoughtfully at her reflection in the polished metal of the duct. She knew I was there, but didn’t so much as glance at me.  
“What does everyone mean, my former self? What was I before, and how did I come to be here? Be honest. I know when people lie. I have been taught to know when people lie.”  
Well shit. We were a complete pack of ignorant, tactless, horrible people. She had no idea that we had known her before she turned up, or even how she turned up, and there we were talking in front of her about her being magicked into a 5 year old, appearing in the middle of the night. She didn’t seem angry, just curious.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I know you in a few years, when you’re grown up. We work together. You live here with us, and you are Tony’s living nightmare. Somehow you got de-aged, we think by Loki, but you know that part already. We should have told you, but I underestimated you. You’re a strong person Nat, even as a 5 year old.”  
“Thank you for explaining. Can we train now?”  
I smiled and led her away through the vents, still looking thoughtful. We were nearly out when I heard her next question.  
“Why was I in your bed when I woke up?”  
Now that I wasn’t going to get into. I just slid out of the vent and helped Tash down, but I could see that she wouldn’t ask again. Training I guess, you don’t ask the same questions twice. You accept your answer, or lack of one, or you get beaten. Simple as. Once again I reflected on the cruelty of her childhood. If we found Loki, she would be sent back there. Back to the military regime of some Russians, who seemed to be pretty pissed off with everyone. I hoped that this ‘holiday’ wouldn’t come up in Nat’s timeline. I dread to think what they would do to a recruit who went AWOL for a week, at the age of 5, escaping from the highest security military centre in existence. I just hoped they took it as a sign of her excellent infiltration skills. The target paid for those thoughts as we continued to train together.   
It took a few hours for her to be satisfied with her work with the bow, but eventually she came over to where I was waiting, and told me that she was ready to leave. We headed for the kitchen to find snacks, but we found a bit more than we were bargaining for. Natasha flung open the fridge door, and hissed as she recoiled.   
“What, did Tony leave one of his ‘projects’ in there again… SHIT! Ok, who left the fucking god of mischief in the fridge? ASSEMBLE!”  
Loki seemed to be in some kind of meditative state, which may have looked vaguely normal had he not been sitting inside a mysteriously empty fridge. The others all appeared at great speeds from various directions, assembling around the fridge. I saw the familiar flash of Bruce’s camera, and noted that I definitely wanted one of those pictures.  
“Nat, meet Loki. Feel free to kick his ass.”  
“That’s enough Barton.”  
At an unexpected voice, we all span around to find Phil staring somewhat confusedly at Natasha. Oh right, I had been so busy taking care of Nat that I hadn’t alerted SHIELD.   
“Steve told us about Natasha, but it’s still not an everyday occurrence to find one of your best assets is a preschooler. Or that there’s a Norse god in a fridge. Impressive work with Tony by the way. Those pictures made it onto the SHIELD official servers, and the junior agents love them. I think there are t-shirts now. Also, you should really order take out less and check your fridge more often.”  
“As awesome as it is that there are t-shirts of my ass being kicked by said preschooler, back to the present, and the fucking brainwashed super villain in MY fucking fridge?”  
At that point Loki decided to open his eyes and step out of the fridge. It didn’t help that he immediately collapsed onto Thor. He managed to steady himself, and looked at Nat with interest.   
“So that was the result of my arrival. I did wonder. I would apologise if it were not so amusing a side effect. I fear that my attempt to travel between realms while my magic reserves were so low may have had some… questionable side effects. Principle among them, the Assassin’s age, and my need to remain in a cold environment. Before you ask, no I did not intend to arrive in Midguard, I lost some of my magic in the form of a de-aging spell upon my arrival, which must have somehow hit her, and yes you do need to check your kitchen appliances more carefully in the future as I have been residing here for a few days now.”  
The others were looking at him with disbelief (Steve and Bruce), mild curiosity (Phil), annoyance (Tony and Nat), and worry (Thor). Personally, I was somewhere between anger, and although I hated my subconscious for it, sympathy. He looked about as good as I felt while recovering from the mind control, and beneath the smug expression was a pale, drawn face.   
“Brother, you must undo this charm upon the Lady Natasha, and then you must recover. I will take you to a healing room upon Asgard.”  
“Do you truly think I left Asgard behind by accident, Odinson? I require none of your begrudged aid, or false pity.”  
I sighed, sensing that a family battle would ensue if nothing was done.  
“Right, Loki is going to grow Nat back up again, and then Pepper can take him to the infirmary until we hear from SHIELD. Understood?”  
Everyone nodded, even Tony after a steely glance from Pepper. Loki however decided to ruin my plan by collapsing onto the kitchen floor. Guess it was just going too well. I watched as Thor dragged Loki off in the direction of the infirmary. Looks like Nat was stuck for now. Sighing, I sent Nat off with Pepper to go to a ballet class I had hoped she wouldn’t have to attend and headed off after the other Avengers to follow the demigods.   
I finally managed to escape the insane combination of the Norse family reunion, Bruce trying to work out what the hell the life signs of a frost giant should be, and Tony running around hitting anything that started beeping. It was interesting, to say the least. I found myself sitting on a sofa, watching the elevator doors for movement. I missed little Nat. I don’t know why, but it felt right to be trying to give her some kind of fun in her life. God knows she needs all the help she can get with that. All I could think of, was what if she wouldn’t want to go back? Would she want me to raise her, take the red out of her ledger for good? My heart would be broken, but hers might just be fixed. I was torn, to do what she might have wanted, but to prevent all I could have hoped for. I didn’t want to be alone again. Nat was all I had, and I didn’t know if I could give that up, even for her sake. I’m too selfish for that.   
I was brought out of my contemplations by the sofa sinking considerably as Thor settled beside me.   
“Do not despair, friend Clint. Loki may be incapacitated as of yet, but I have some small amount of magic myself. I only have enough for healing minor wounds upon the battlefield, but that should be enough to reverse the effects on the Lady Natasha. She will soon be returned to you.”  
I looked at him with what I hoped was a grateful version of my usual grin, but I suspected that it was more of a grimace. I looked up to the sound of the elevator, and Nat stepped out with all of the grace her future self would have. Thor and Pepper rapidly started a conversation about Loki’s condition and walked away, leaving me alone with Tasha. We sat in silence for a while before I plucked up the courage to ask her.  
“Tash… I love having you here, and I know that Thor can grow you up again if you want, but I was wondering. Would you rather stay? You don’t have to go back if you don’t want to. You never have to see the Red Room again.”  
She looked at me, her face unreadable. I almost took it back, almost begged her to go, to bring my Tasha back to me, but I couldn’t just make her go back. She still has nightmares now about the things they did to her there. I was still looking for the answer, but she provided it for me.   
“It’s alright. You can send me back. It’ll be fun, I can shoot stuff. Anyway, I’ll see you again. I think you need her anyway. Me. You need me.”  
My heart almost burst as I realised what she was saying.  
“Course I do. Lost without you. As you always tell me.”  
She smiled, and before I could do anything, she pulled me into a fierce hug. I asked JARVIS to call for Thor, and waited with Natalya until it was time for Natasha to come home. It only took a minute for Thor to arrive, and once more he cupped her face in his hands.  
“You are brave, my lady. Fare thee well.”  
She nodded, and closed her eyes as Thor began the spell. I saw it taking effect, saw her growing before my eyes. I sent Thor away when I realised that her clothes weren’t growing. It was a little surreal to see the hulk on her t-shirt expanding before it was destroyed completely. I carried her to our room to find some new clothes, and found a wooden box that had once held some old weapons of mine or something. Still, it was just big enough for the miniature bow, the photos Bruce took of us together, and just for good luck the tiny purple Hawkeye t-shirt she had never had the chance to wear. I carried her to the infirmary so that Bruce could keep an eye on her while she recovered, and left the box on her beside table before getting the hell out of there in case she decided to kill Loki when she woke up in the same room as him.  
I did wonder what we were going to do with him though. I guess we’d just have to wait and see.


End file.
